Make Money

Category: Family

A tangled mess

by nurseschatzie

I am convinced there are creatures living under my daughters bed.  Every night they come out to torment her in her sleep, but they are so sly and quiet that she doesn’t even notice them.  Occasionally she will wake up, but they are so tiny  she doesn’t realize they are in her bed.  I haven’t determined yet if she does something specific to irritate them, or if they just prefer little girls.  They do not seem to have any effect on the boys.  She calls them “Da Nassy Nauts”.  During the day, they collect carpet lint and other fuzzes and hold them until the attack.  Then, while she slumbers they massacre her beautiful curly hair.  Armed with the carpet fuzz, a very small teasing comb, and some kind of adhesive, they creativly weave themselves with the fuzz into her locks. 

I have tried several tactics to ward off “Da Nassy Nauts”, all unsuccessful.  I have tried leave-in conditioner, a pony tail, letting her go to bed with wet hair, damp hair, dry hair, brushed hair, messy hair, silky pillow, cotton pillow, no pillow. Nothing seems to help. 

In the morning it’s anyones guess as to how her hair will look.  And how long it will take to brush out all those “Nassy Nauts”.  Undoubtedly there will be tears, screams, and profanity under breath, and of course, I get upset too.  The Nauts are very intricate weavers, and cannot be undone with just a good shampoo and conditioner.  That helps, but you must first brush them all out.

I know Princess and I will come though this together.  After all, I once dealt with “Da Nassy Nauts” as well.  Although I refuse to follow the route my parents took with me…….they cut my long beautiful curly hair off!  I will be stronger than this, Princess will be stronger than this.  WE WILL OVERCOME DA NASSY NAUTS!

But, it is getting difficult.  The longer her hair is, the harder they work to destroy it.  And more time consuming and painful the solution becomes.  Often Princess wants me to stop before all of the offenders are out, but luckily she still trusts my judgement when I tell her “Da Nassy Nauts” will just multiply if not quickly taken care of.  So remember Princess and her daily struggle with Da Nauts and say an extra prayer on Tuesdays and Wednesdays – they days Mommy goes to work early, and (cue dramatic music) DADDY fixes our hair!

The evidence of their destruction is below, even on Christmas Day, “Da Nassy Nauts” wreak havoc!

Nassy Nauts work of art 

Advertisements

Well howdy there

by niteshift

Let’s all say hello and get acquainted what do you say? I’m NITESHIFT, no I’m not an insomniac, but I am up all night. I’m a graveyard guy, a mid monster, that guy that works all night while most of the rest of the world is tucked in bed. I work third shift so my co-workers won’t have to.

This will be a family type blog, so let’s get you introduced to them while we’re all here. First off you’ll want to meet my wife, NURSESCHATZIE. She’s a Yankee, but she’s recovering. She grew up in the middle of a very large northern city, but has fallen in love with the south and has even started talking like one of us (some of the time). She is one of those truly lucky people that were able to be what they wanted to be when they grew up, she is obviously a nurse. Next to her is #1, our oldest son. He will be a teenager one of these days and I’m not looking forward to it. I’m trying to teach him about being a man and how to go about it, but we’re both hard headed so it doesn’t always take. Those two little carpet commandos hanging onto #1’s knees are the twins. The bigger of the two is MONSTER, let’s just say he tries to be a good kid, but seems incapable of doing so on a regular basis. He is all boy, rough, rowdy, loud, and frequently breaks things. The little curly headed one is my only daughter, PRINCESS. She is truly the apple of her daddy’s eye. I used to joke that if I ever had a daughter I would have a shotgun displayed in the living room, but then they lifted the assault weapons ban so now I’m setting my sights a little higher on the scare-the-crap-outta-anyone-who-courts-my-little-girl meter. But don’t let the her fool you, she is a princess in every sense of the word. PUDDLES is also running around here somewhere. I was not in favor of bringing a pooch home but she grows on you after a while. There is more family but they will likely be minor players, only making short appearances here and there.

Now that we’ve all been introduced I’ll just say a few things, kinda lay out the rules if you will. We will all make an effort to be polite to each other. If you get a kick out of something we ramble on about please feel free to let us know, leave a comment. If something we say rubs you the wrong way let us know about that too, but be nice about it. We’re a pretty easy going group of folks, but we will not accept some one coming into our house spouting profanity and being rude. Comments deemed to be out of line will be deleted.

Well that just about wraps it up for the seemingly required hello world first post. Feel free to look around, tell us what you think about the place, pull up a chair next to the fire and relax. Stay out of the kids room, it’s dangerous in there, and don’t touch anything in the man room. It’s dangerous in there for totally different reasons. Enjoy